


Morning Humor (The Kind that Wakes You Up)

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-15
Updated: 2011-07-15
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Futurefic. Howard and Bernadette just got married, Raj is still living with Sheldon, and Stuart's Raj's boyfriend. Unfortunately, Mary Cooper's none too happy about what's going on under her son's roof.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Humor (The Kind that Wakes You Up)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at Big Bang Land round six. Over the course of the round we randomly chose a protagonist (Mary), antagonist (Stuart), weapon (rolled-up comic), and location (Raj's computer). Then we had to write fic about the ensuing battle. This was my result. I don't really think that Mary would be this judgemental, for the record.

The morning after Howard and Bernadette’s wedding is surprisingly quiet. Raj wakes up in his own bed, though, and that’s something, and he’s wrapped around Stuart, which is perfect. After the disastrous dance with Amy the previous night he’d lost track of where he was and what was going on.

He really needs to pee, but when he tries to wriggle free of Stuart a muffled noise of protest emanates from the pillow Stuart has his face buried in and Raj settles back for a little longer.

An unknown doze-time later, Raj finally rolls out of bed. Stuart crawls after him and they head for the bathroom, Raj to pee and Stuart to stick his head under the shower and attempt once more to get out the glitter Penny was throwing along with the confetti.

“I guess you’re not planning on opening the store today.”

“Nnnneh,” Stuart says, burbling a little.

Raj flushes the toilet, washes his hands, and then pulls his towel off the rail and sits Stuart down on the edge of the tub to dry his hair. Stuart puts one arm loosely around Raj’s thighs and, if it weren’t for the enticing smell of waffles drifting from the kitchen, they might take up the bathroom for much longer than Raj’s allotted time.

As it is, once Stuart is dry and both of them are dressed beyond boxers and t-shirts, they step out of the bathroom and Mary’s _right there_ , obviously trying not to be too impatient about waiting to use the bathroom. Raj feels his face go bright red. Stuart attempts to hide behind him. Mary’s eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something; Raj flees past her to the neutral territory of the living room.

“Morning Raj, Stuart,” Sheldon says, stifling a yawn as he turns out the waffles onto plates.

“Hey, Sheldon. Where’re Leonard and Penny? I thought they were coming over for breakfast.”

“They went to the store to get Hershey’s chocolate syrup and canned whipped cream, because Penny has no understanding of the basics of nutrition.”

Raj and Stuart both laugh, and Raj settles on the couch to check his emails.

Mary comes out of the bathroom, looking far too bright and awake for someone who first stayed up past midnight dancing at the wedding reception and then slept in her son’s Febrezed bedroom.

“So, when were you gonna tell me Rajesh is livin’ in sin?” she asks said son cheerfully.

Sheldon almost burns himself on the waffle iron and sticks his fingers in his mouth. “What?”

“Him and Stuart, of course, what else?”

“Mommy, don’t say that.”

“Mrs Cooper, I can assure you—” That’s as far as Stuart gets before Mary turns on him with a glare that could shrivel any man’s heart.

“I’m surprised at you, Shelly Cooper, lettin’ this sort of thing go on under your own roof.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” Sheldon says in a quiet but determined voice.

“See?” says Stuart, who hasn’t crossed Mary Cooper before when she’s really set her mind to something. “He says it’s fine, so it’s fine.”

Raj ducks his head and tries to hide behind his computer as Mary snatches up the nearest comic book – oh _no_ – and rolls it briskly up to whap Stuart on the nose with it like an unruly puppy.

“Mom!” Sheldon yells, and for a second Raj thinks, _aw, Sheldon’s going to defend Stuart_ , but Sheldon follows that up with, “That’s the newest _Batman_!” And lo and behold, Stuart too looks more offended by the maltreatment of the comic book than of his nose. Sheldon leaves the waffle iron and crosses the room, leaning over the couch to snatch at the comic, nearly sending Raj’s computer flying.

“Sheldon!” he snaps, forgetting momentarily that he can’t talk in front of Mary.

“Shelly!” Mary snaps louder.

“Stop it!” Stuart says, not managing to outdo either of them in either volume or intensity.

“What the hell?” Penny says, barrelling through the door in the nick of time as the waffle iron catches fire and dousing it with Reddi-Wip.

“Mom’s objecting to homosexual liaisons in my apartment and I told her I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.”

“I thought we said we were going to tell your mother about us _together_!” Leonard says, looking wounded.

There is a prolonged loud silence. The smell of burnt whipped pseudo-cream fills the apartment.

“We were actually discussin’ Rajesh and Stuart,” Mary says at last, “but it sounds like you’ve got somethin’ you want to tell me.” She advances on Leonard, comic book in hand.

Raj relaxes a tiny bit and looks up at Stuart, who just shrugs. At least the attention is focused away from them now.


End file.
